Reflections on Grace

By Alex McGee

October 2017

Today I would like to suggest that grace between humans depends on two things being present:  one of them has more power in a situation, and that person believes in the blossoming potential of another human.

In the television show called Andy Griffith, in the town called Mayberry, one episode tells the story of Jim.  Jim grew up in Mayberry, and was a fine guitarist.  He went away and joined a well known band, supporting a famous lead singer.  One day, he returned to town, and everyone was so glad to see him and proud of his success.  They admire his shiny car.  They admire his fancy clothes.  He brags that he is so talented that he even left the band and the lead singer to branch out on his own. 

But after about a week, people begin to tell stories:  Jim hasn’t paid his hotel bill all week; he is keeping a tab at the drugstore; and he has told the barber he will come back and pay him later.  Andy begins to wonder what is going on. 

Andy calls up the famous singer and asks him what happened.  The lead singer says Jim got too big for his britches and also spent all his earnings.  Nonetheless, this singer has faith in young Jim’s potential and would love to have him back if he would be a team player. 

So, what happens next, is that Andy goes to Jim and in the kindest way possible, asks him to pay his bills.  But, Jim says he needs to leave town.  Now, Andy is the sheriff, and up until now, hasn’t used his force.  But at this point, he arrests Jim and brings him to the station.

And what do you think happened next?  Was that the end of the story?  Did Jim have to simply be in jail, ashamed, and unable to pay?

No, because waiting at the jail for him was the lead singer he had left and who was ready to hire him back.  Andy had arranged for that.

And so, the story ends with Jim having an opportunity to return to playing guitar and earning money.

Andy offered grace to Jim.

Andy had the power of being sheriff.  Andy had the knowledge that Jim had spent all his money and lost his job.

Andy also believed in Jim --- he had seen him grow up, and Andy believes in bringing out the best in people.

So, those are the two prerequisites for grace to occur, I believe:  power and believing in human potential.

What Andy did next was to remove an obstacle and to open space for Jim to move forward on a path.  He did this by inviting the lead singer, who could pay Jim, and who could offer him a chance to keep playing guitar.

My friends, each day, as we move among other humans, we also have opportunities to offer grace.

For surely, we will encounter people who have done something wrong. 

Maybe we encounter someone who has done something illegal, or just unpopular.  Maybe we have a close friend or family member who has broken trust or corroded a relationship. 

Maybe we are in a position of power in a workplace or organization. 

In any of these situations, the power that we have by that knowledge or relationship gives us fertile ground to act with grace.

And, secondly, as we go through each day, we can look upon this world with tired eyes and a closed heart.  Surely, each of us has been banged up and bruised by the bumps in the road of life, and don’t feel like looking around for hidden potential. 

But, instead, we might do something different:  we might look with eyes at the flower that is about to bloom,

the child who is about to learn a new skill,

the friend who is developing more self-awareness,

the neighbor who is recovering from addiction,

the coworker who is ready to turn over a new leaf.   

In this mode, we become ready to act with grace.

And then, with this power and this outlook, our eyes become open to creativity and new options to help a person on their path.  We often then see ways to remove obstacles on their path.

So, let me clarify:  I have been explaining how I see grace between two humans.  This is different than forgiveness.  By contrast, forgiveness is when relationship is broken and one person goes through stages to no longer hold the hurt.  And perhaps they go on to reconcile, which is then a two way street of repair and honesty to move forward together.  In forgiveness, there may or may not be a power differential.  And in forgiveness, there may or may not be a desire for the other person to blossom and unfold into greater potential.  In the example I gave earlier, Andy did not just ask Jim to apologize and then let him finish his jail time.  He looked at the bigger picture of human well-being.

Andy did not just go by the rules.  The reason he is the beloved sheriff of Mayberry is because he does not go by the rules, but still keeps peace in the town.  Perhaps the reason he keeps peace in the town is because he knows the rules aren’t the most important thing.  This is true with other classic characters from literature:  for example, Grandma Dowdel in the books by Richard Peck;  Professor Dumbledore in the Harry Potter books; and even Jesus of Nazareth, who did not play by the rules of the Roman Empire, but looked out for the good of the people around him.  In our daily lives, we also face moments when we could fall back on the rules, perhaps because they seem easy, or familiar, or safe.  But when we act from grace, we find ways to do what is good for people becoming the best they can be, and still somehow fit within the structure or institution we’ve signed on to.  Grace does not rebel against rules for rebellions sake, but sees that rules exist for a reason, and are only one factor in the picture.

One of the rules that grace defies is social rules about ideology.  When you have an opportunity to help someone else proceed on their spiritual path, do you ask yourself whether they are Republican, or Democrat?  I hope not.

Grace also does not have rules about timing.  Grace can be offered in the line at the grocery store, in the dining hall at the retirement home, on the bench in the public park, …all on a plain, simple day. 

Grace can also show up after tragedy:  after a hurricane, after a mass shooting, after a baby dies, or any other shock and heartache.  All of us humans are blossoming and can use some help having obstacles removed no matter the time and place.

As a child and teenager, I lived in a variety of places and cultures.  I received acts of kindness and learned that kindness is a universal trait, even if you can’t speak the same language as another person.  But even more beautiful and complex, the experience of grace also crosses lines of culture and language.  When I was a child in a working class neighborhood of London, a teen visiting families who lived in the landfill in Tijuana, Mexico, and a young adult living with Buddhist nuns in Sri Lanka, I did things that were goof ups.  And yet, people looked at me with a universal eye for my human unfolding:  all these situations had moments where someone else extended themselves to ease my path, even when I didn’t deserve it, meaning I had done something that inconvenienced them, was culturally insensitive, or had made naïve mistakes.

I would like to finish by talking about how grace also happens on a divine level, and that we humans are able to offer grace to one another because we receive it from a spiritual source beyond ourselves.  Here is a metaphor:  One universal image of a person with power who is removing obstacles from the path of another is the image of a parent helping a child learn to walk.  I am imagining a child with two fat legs, teetering, with big eyes, experimenting with putting one pudgy leg in front of the other.  And I am imagining an adult nearby moving the toys out of the way, or offering one finger to hold on to.  A parent looking out for a child as they learn to walk knows that there will be falls.  They don’t blame the child.  They know they won’t always be able to remove all obstacles, but they do when they can.  This a perhaps the simplest form of grace.

And, this universal image could suggest a divine force greater than all of us, that looks out for us and removes obstacles on our path, as we are stumbling our way seeking to walk with spiritual consciousness.  This is one way to image the divine. 

You may balk at that image of the divine because it hints of a parent god.  So, let me offer another image.  All of us are part of a Universal force of Love, and that is embodied in all of us, and constantly looking to express itself.  Perhaps we receive grace from something beyond ourselves?  Listen to this quote from Deepak Chopra, a doctor and philosopher:  “In my garden, the rose opened, but I was too much in a hurry and passed it by. Love remembered me and said, I will make a rose bloom in your heart.” 

However you image the sacred, I think that when humans extend grace to other humans, it is because of a deeper and greater force.   Something inside of us moves us to act with grace.  

And, so, my friends, the mystery of this life goes on.  We do not understand why our paths are made easy sometimes.  We do not understand why we act to make the paths of others easy sometimes.  But, may it be, again and again, that some force of grace, inside us and beyond us, help all of us to blossom to our full potential.

Blessed be,

Amen

© Rev. Alexandra McGee, 2017